Have you ever looked back at the woman you were 10 or 20 years ago and thought, why was it so much easier back then? Maybe you could lose 5 pounds in a couple of weeks. Maybe you had more energy. Now everything maybe feels harder and you start wondering, what am I doing wrong? Most women think the answer is exercise more. Eat less. The biggest mistake is trying to lose weight the same way you did when you were 20 something. Your body has changed. Your life has changed. Sometimes doing more, more, more–It’s not the answer. stop chasing exhaustion, and start building strength. Your age is not your limitation. It can become one of your greatest strengths.
All of you. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Vanessa Carlton fitness podcast. I’m Doctor Vanessa Carlton, physical therapist and founder of Vanessa Carlton Fitness, where we help busy women become stronger, healthier and more confidence without spending hours in the gym. I am so looking forward to this podcast. This is episode 13. It hit home for me. But without further ado.
Can I ask you a question? Have you ever looked back at the woman you were 10 or 20 years ago and thought, why was it so much easier back then? Right? Maybe you could lose 5 pounds in a couple of weeks. Maybe you have more energy. Life was good. Not that it’s not good now, but it just seemed a little more simple, a little easier.
Maybe you had more energy. Maybe you didn’t have to think so much about what you ate. I have a core memory of being in my 20s. I was in. Was I even in grad school yet? I don’t think I was in grad school yet, so I was maybe 23. I remember going out with friends. Everyone was older than me at the time and sitting down and having a big plate of food, and this older gal, who is in her 50s said, must be nice to still eat like that and not worry about it.
And I was like, okay, whatever. But that core memory, I didn’t realize it then, but her perspective was probably what we’re going to talk about today, right? She was in a different season than I was in. She had grandchildren. I wasn’t even married yet. Right. So I share that memory because.
Maybe now you’re thinking a little bit more about what you’re eating and what you’re doing. But now everything maybe feels harder and you start wondering, what am I doing wrong? What is going on today? I want to talk about the biggest mistake I see women over 40 making and I’m in this with you. I’m in this category and it’s probably not what you think.
All right, here’s another question for you. Question number one. But before I tell you what I what it is the biggest mistake. I want to ask you something. What’s the one thing you’ve noticed has changed the most about your body since turning 40? What’s the one thing you notice has changed the most since you’ve turned 40? Or maybe you’re in a different bracket, right?
But you’re noticing some things. Maybe you just turned 50. Is it your weight? Is it where you’re storing weight? Is it your energy? Is it your strength, your energy, your strength? Your sleep? Maybe it’s something completely different. Tell me in the comments below. I really want to hear what you’ve experienced, because I think you’ll quickly discover you’re definitely not the only woman experiencing it.
All right, guys, oh, let’s dive in. Okay, so let’s dive in together. Most women think the answer is exercise more. I gotta do more or eat less. But that’s usually not the biggest mistake. What I know, I know, it’s usually not the biggest mistake. The biggest mistake is trying to lose weight the same way you did when you were 20 something, 25 guys.
Your body has changed. Your life has changed. You have been through stuff. I guarantee you have been through some things. What I was experiencing in my 20s, I don’t really want to relive that. I don’t want to go back to school and all the things. But I have lived through things these last couple of decades, right? Your life has changed.
Your responsibilities have changed. So your approach needs to change to new approach. Okay. Even for myself, I just want to share something. I remember being I think I was 30, I was 31 at the time. We were in Ohio. We just opened a women’s gym. We’re rocking and rolling. We had a coed gym before that and we had been trying to start a family.
Nothing was happening. I had all this pain. I thought it was my appendix. Go to the hospital. Come to find out, I was actually pregnant, which we were excited, but it was a topic, unfortunately. And I remember meeting this really awesome nurse. Her name was soon. Susie and she was in great shape. We started talking about exercise. She just did a physique show and I was telling her about my experience doing a physique show and how I wanted to start family, and I wanted her show, and I was sharing all these things that here I am within a topic, pregnancy.
And I remember her looking into my eyes and telling me, hey, look, just take care of your body. Your body is going to change. But if you’re looking to start a family, then focus on that. Just take care of yourself, stay strong. And then when the time is ready for you to do a show, you’ll be able to take the pressure off, right?
Take. That was another core memory. This was someone. Her kids were grown. She wasn’t. She was in her 50s. She looked phenomenal. She was strong. She was nice. She was beautiful. She was healthy. We were sharing pictures, swapping stories. Right. And so I share that with you because I hope that gives you help. Whatever season of life you’re in, take the pressure off, take it off, and let’s start taking care of your body.
Because I’ve worked with women who were exercising harder than ever, owning two ladies only gyms, and even now I work one on one with high performing people, mostly women. Majority are women who are successful entrepreneurs, leaders, executives, CEOs. And they’re just like grinding, grinding. But in this avenue, they’re having a hard time. They’re exercising harder than ever, doing more cardio, eating less, trying every new De diet they found online.
Yet they weren’t getting the results they expected. And I’ve heard it so many times they felt frustrated. They blamed themselves all this pressure. But they often but often they were simply using strategies that no longer match the season of life they were in. So that’s why I love getting to know my clients. Everyone is in a unique season.
Everyone has gone or going through something different, learning how their bodies responding and coming alongside and saying, okay, I hear you, I see you. And based on my experience and my background as a trainer, coach, all the things massage therapist, this is what I’m thinking. And we work together, right? Because they’ve been in their body their entire life, right?
So who am I to say, okay, do this. No, but this is what I think. What do you think? And boom, then the magic happens, right? As we get older, our priorities change. My priorities are so different now than when I was in my 20s, 28, 29, when I was doing my physique show. Yeah, I had a full time job, my career as a physical therapist.
I was already doing that. But now I have children. Now we homeschool. Now we have a thriving business. Right? There’s there’s definitely a difference in priorities. Many women are balancing careers, children, grandchildren, aging parents, busy schedules, stress, less sleep. I remember when I became a mom. Oh my gosh, my daughter, my oldest from the time she started turning over, right?
So we stopped putting the that thing we used to put on her. It was like, I call it like a baby burrito thing. I can’t think of the word. But anyway, once we stopped putting that on her because we were scared she would like suffocate or something for nine months? No, for five months till she hit nine months old.
The girl didn’t sleep. Oh my. I felt like I was drugged most days. Right? Anyway, so navigating less sleep, sometimes hormonal changes, right? So we mentioned like aging parents, busy schedules, stress, less sleep, hormonal changes, sometimes hormonal changes. All of those factors can make healthy habits harder to maintain. That’s one reason extreme diets die. Diets are usually so difficult to sustain.
So let me ask you something. Are you still trying to lose weight the same way you did 1020 years ago? More cardio, less food, trying to just cut things out, all completely, being miserable, right? More cardio, less food, trying to push yourself harder. And here’s the more important question is it actually working for you? Is it working? Think about that.
Because sometimes doing more, more, more more, more, more. It’s not the answer. Sometimes we need to do things differently. We need a different approach. So can I encourage you stop fighting your body. When I was experienced that topic pregnancy, at that time, we had just opened this new gym. We were new to the area, didn’t know anyone, didn’t have any family or friends, wanted to start a family.
Also felt like I needed to do another physique show for my career as a trainer. All these things. And when that nurse Susie told me, hey, just take care of yourself. And I was like, what the heck? Why am I putting all this pressure on myself? Just enjoy the ride. Work out. Anyway, I want to encourage you. So can I encourage you to stop fighting your body?
Start working with it instead of asking how can I eat less? Ask how can I nourish my body better? Right? Instead of eating this, maybe I can eat that. How can I nourish my body better? Instead of asking how can I exercise more, I remember I have a current client who just got married. She looks great. And it wasn’t just for the wedding, it was for her life and she was working out in the gym two hours, right?
Not getting results, feeling stressed, feeling like a failure. She didn’t need it to be working out two hours. She didn’t even need an hour, right? But anyway, she had this thought in her head of just like I need to snatch weight. And you know, social media has maybe its benefits, but like, can we just stop looking at all these other people, women who are in different seasons with different responsibilities and stop comparing ourselves and figure out what is it that my body needs, because it’s not necessarily more she didn’t need a workout two hours.
If she was in their hour, I’m like, okay, that’s it. You know, we don’t we want to just be specific for what you need and carry on. And she learned what her body needs, and she’s more confident in the gym and owns it and owns her workout. So instead of asking, how can I exercise more, ask how can I exercise smarter, right?
One of the smartest things women over 40 can do is build strength. Strength training isn’t just about the muscles. Strength training. Exercise is helping all the things you can’t see that are operating your hormones, your lymphatic system. Like all the things that are going on strength training. It’s not just about muscles. It helps you stay independent. It helps you feel good.
I was working out with a client the other day and she said, she’s 64 and we were doing chest presses and she’s like, man, it feels good to pump these out. Yes. And does it make it makes you feel strong and accomplish okay. So it helps you stay independent. It supports your healthy bones. It improves your balance. It makes everyday activities easier.
That same client that I just mentioned has a new grandson, right? Like she can go travel, see her grandson, spend time with her grandson, enjoy and get up and off the floor without any issues. It helps preserve muscle as we age. So you know, you hear people say, oh, when I turn 40, 50, 60, it’s not just them.
It’s all of us, right? Every decade our body is going to change. We need to take care of it for now. But doing so also helps our future self. That’s why I encourage women stop chasing exhaustion, stop and start building strength, stop chasing exhaustion and start building strength. I remember having a client who came to me convinced that she needed more cardio.
And don’t get me wrong, I love like I can’t say that I maybe let me let me go back. Okay, I run because if I ever need to run, there is an emergency. I want to be able to run. Right. I can’t really say I’m not a runner, but I do it because I believe it’s a necessity. Right?
I have come, I’ve come a long way where I used to loathe getting on the treadmill or running. I mean, sports is fun. I there was a purpose that my mindset there’s a purpose for cardio because I’m playing basketball or doing pole vault. But when I started really hitting the gym and trying to figure things out, I really come to like the stair stepper, the stair mill, I enjoy it, it feels good, it gets my legs.
So I’m not saying that cardio is bad, so please hear me when I say that. But I had a client that was convinced she needed more cardio, more stepper going backwards on the elliptical like just different things. She was already walking every day. She was walking every day, doing long workouts, eating very little. But she wasn’t getting the results she wanted.
And instead of doing more, we focused on a different strategy. We focused on better strength training and seeing what her belief of strength training was, what she was actually doing, which really wasn’t strength training and incorporating things that were doable and enjoyable. We also focused on so strength training, eating enough protein. Of course walking is good. I’m not going to tell you to stop walking, but also her sleep, right?
She wasn’t really sleeping through the night and having a good sleep routine, making sure she’s getting enough water so she’s hydrated so she’s not getting up with a headache or feeling like she’s hung over. Because sleep is when the magic happens is when you’re when your muscles are breaking or when your muscles are building. Fat is breaking down.
Your body is repairing itself. Sleep is huge. So again, strength training in and of protein walking, sleep consistency. Hear me out. Not perfection. Consistency. Not perfection. Building habits that are doable that you enjoy. Because if you don’t enjoy it, you’re not going to do it. I mean, as simple as that. And a few months later, she wasn’t just seeing changes physically.
Like her body definitely was changing. She was stronger. She could feel stronger in all the right places because we also looked at her mobility, right? She was more confident, she had more energy, and she was understanding why she’s doing what she’s doing. And for the first time, she felt like she had a plan. She was headed the right direction.
She wasn’t doubting. She wasn’t second guessing herself. She could actually she had a plan that she could actually live with. Can I tell you something? Your worth has never been determined by the number on the scale. We were outside this morning playing Frisbee at a local college on the football field. Like just teaching our kids how to throw the physic.
Just playing catch, just getting outside. Right. There’s so many benefits of being outside. And I took a moment just because I know one of my kids was a little frustrated about, like, not catching the Frisbee all the time, or she’s learning, right? There’s a learning curve. No one comes out of the womb knowing how to throw a Frisbee.
No one comes out of the room knowing how to strike train for their body. Right. There’s there’s a learning curve. Be grace. Give yourself grace. Be patient. Anyway, but I took a moment to tell my kids you are valuable. You are so important. Whether you catch the Frisbee all the time or you don’t or throw it well, you are important.
And she said, okay, thanks, mom. You know, but I just I felt like I needed to tell her that because I could kind of see she was just like, all right, you know, moving along, but you yourself. Listen to me when I say you are so valuable. You are so like every your chromosomes, your DNA, all the cells.
I remember doing the sections in grad school and I’m like, wow, we are so fearfully and wonderfully made. It’s amazing how we can function, right? If you really think about it, you are valuable exactly as you are. Taking care of your health isn’t about earning your value. It’s about honoring your body. Taking care of your health is not about earning your value.
It’s about honoring your body that God has entrusted to you. Here’s what I wish every woman over 40 knew. You don’t need another crash die diet. You don’t need to punish yourself. You’re not feeling. You’re not. We just got to figure out what works for you. You don’t have to do it by yourself. And that’s what I tell everyone.
Even if they decide, for whatever reason, not to work with me. Don’t stop. Keep going. You don’t have to figure this out by yourself, right? Like when I want to paint, I like to go to a class or a drawing and sip or whatever, where there’s someone that’s passionate and motivated about doing that. And I know I’m going to come out of there was something great because it’s already happened.
Same thing with you. You don’t need to spend two hours at the gym. That’s crazy. I mean, if you want to go head. But who’s got that kind of time right now, right? You need a sustainable plan. Healthy food, strength training, movement, sleep, patience, grace and consistency. Those things were getting that that positive feedback loop going right. Those things all help each other and they still work.
Remember the goal isn’t just to lose weight. And that’s one of the things that I love a lot of my clients recently is like, look, if I lose the weight, I have two that I’m thinking of right now that when I met with them, they said, if I lose the weight, great. But if not, at least I know I’m getting stronger, I can move better and I can enjoy my life.
Oh yes, the weights coming off right. The strength is building. The goal is to become the strongest, healthiest, most energetic version of yourself. That’s the goal. That’s a goal worth chasing. And I know I’m getting hyped up about this because it’s when you think about that everything else falls in line. So let me ask you one final question.
Question. I ask you one final question. What’s one thing you’re willing to do differently this time? So you can’t just hear this and be like, okay, this is great, and go about your business and not change anything? No, no, no, no, we got to do something differently. Maybe you’re going to stop trying to starve yourself. Maybe you’re going to start strength training.
Maybe you’re going to prioritize protein, maybe not get enough right. Maybe you’re going to protect your sleep. Go to bed, stop scrolling, go to bed. Or maybe you’re simply going to stop quitting every time you’ve had a bad day. Don’t quit. Don’t quit. Even if the scale is not moving and you’re exercising, there are things that are happening that are good for your body.
The scale just hasn’t caught up yet. Don’t quit. What is it for you, right? Don’t quit every time you’ve had a bad day. Stop quitting. What is it for you?
So please share that one thing. What is it for you? And if you’re comfortable sharing it, put it in the comments. There’s something powerful. Our words have power, right? There’s death of life in the in our tongue. There’s something powerful about saying, this is what I’m going to change. Boom. I’ve had to make changes recently as our business is growing.
But this is what I’m going to change. All right, guys, here’s the challenge. Here’s your challenge this week. Instead of trying to instead of trying something extreme, choose one habit, one thing you can still see yourself doing a year from now. For me, even when I’m super busy, I can get in 15 minutes of specific strength training, right?
So choose one habit you can still see yourself doing one year from now. Maybe it’s walking, maybe it’s lifting weights twice a week, maybe it’s eating more protein. Maybe it’s going to bed 30 minutes earlier. Choose one, master it right, then build from there. Because I always when I meet with people, they want everything all at once and that’s great.
But if I give you everything all at once, you’re going to hate yourself. It’s not going to be fun. But we master it. We master one thing, then we add master add washer wins. Repeat because small habits repeated consistently create extraordinary results. And that’s what we want. I truly believe God didn’t create us to spend our lives constantly discouraged or should.
It could have woulda. He created us to grow, to learn, to become stronger physically, mentally, spiritually. Every healthy choice you make is an investment in the future he has for you. If today’s episode has encouraged you, which I really, really hope it has, that is my goal is to inspire and get you to move and do something different.
Please share it with another woman over 40 who feels like she’s been fighting an uphill battle. She doesn’t need another fad die diet. She needs hope. She needs truth. She needs a plan that actually fits her lifestyle. If you like how creating that kind of plan. I would love to walk alongside you. You can reach out to us or visit us at Vanessa Carlton.
Or you could reach out to us at (207) 467-5509 to learn more about our one on one live coaching, live virtual training, and our supportive community. Thank you so much for spending time with me today, and if these episodes are encouraging you and helping you become healthier, I’d love to have you join us. Consider subscribing, right? Why not? Let’s do it so you don’t miss future conversations.
We release new episodes every weekday, and I’d love to continue this journey with you all. Till next time guys. Keep moving, keep smiling, getting stronger. And remember, your age is not your limitation. It can become one of your greatest strengths. God bless you and I’ll see you in the next episode. Episode 14 why you keep starting over every Monday. All right, guys. Watch out for now. God bless.
Vanessa Carlson, and I am the owner of Vanessa Carlson Fitness. I am Raider Carlson and I am the general manager. At VC fitness our first goal is our fun first approach with all of our clients. Working out should not feel like a punishment at all, and we strive to make it the highlight of their day. The workouts are tailored.
I love using my background as a doctor, physical therapy to make sure that we’re meeting our clients where they’re at, to help them to get to where they want to be. And I think the third thing is the accountability and communication. So not only do we have one on one sessions with our clients in person and via zoom, but with the app, we are communicating with our clients almost on a daily basis so that they feel confident.
Those companies don’t have a doctor of physical therapy on staff. And so obviously Vanessa is a doctor of physical therapy and highly sought out around the country. And that brings me to my next point that we are the highest rated, the most reviewed personal training company in Portland, Maine, where our headquarters are located. However, we train virtually nationwide through zoom, through live zoom sessions, and so it doesn’t matter where you live.
You can work with Vanessa. And then the third thing is our very first session with Vanessa is only a dollar. We call it the region rise assessments, where basically it’s a meet and greet where she looks at your body using her Doctor of physical therapy skills to make sure that you’re getting the most out of your session and make sure that it’s a good fit for you.
I mean, obviously, we know that we can work with anybody, but obviously it’s got to be a good fit for you. So when I was a child, my grandmother had breast cancer and I was very close with her and was with her for a lot of her appointments with chemo, radiation, all the things and kind of seeing how that affected her.
And I just knew early on I wanted to do something to help people with their health. I didn’t really know what that was going to look like. Fast forward as a child, I remember getting my first Barbie workout video working out with Dance Barbie, and that just was a core memory for me. It closed the door, worked out, felt great, and then fast forward some more.
I knew that I wanted to do something in the health and medical field, and had really great mentors and teachers that helped direct me where I knew I wanted to have a gym one day. I didn’t know how I was going to look, and we had our opportunity. As I was a physical therapist to open our first gym, I just went for it and just really wanted to help people learn how to take care of their bodies.
I just knew that fitness was my passion. And just over the years, it just all worked out together. And here we are. The rest is history. So here’s the thing you don’t have to figure this on your own. And I totally understand how exercise can be overwhelming. We all know that we need to eat healthy and exercise and work out on carve time for it, and don’t feel like you have to know it all.
Do it all by yourself. And even if you’re feeling unmotivated, know that you’re not alone. So my my message to you is surround yourself with someone who is motivated. For someone that is passionate about exercise and eating well and building a positive habits, good healthy habits. I don’t know how to paint, but if I want to make a canvas painting, I’m going to go to a place that the person is a great teacher and passionate about it.
And I’m going to come out with a beautiful painting. Same thing with this. Take the shame. Take the pressure off of your shoulders. You’re not alone in this. Many people I work with all the time don’t know where to start, and I am honored to come alongside and help you figure it out. And just start building that momentum and get in your stride.
And I promise you, you won’t regret it. So anything that we’re saying resonates with you. Don’t wait. Just call the number. Or you can put your information on our website and someone will get. Get back in touch with you very, very quickly. I mean, you got to do it so fast and you don’t know what you’re doing because your mind, which I get in the.
So don’t let them get in the way. Only it’s only $1 to try, Vanessa. And it might be the most impactful hour in 15 minutes of your life. Here at VC fitness for your first consultation, it’s only $1. The assessment is going to just go over some things that are on your heart. Give me a good idea of your body awareness, your mechanics and see if we are a good fit and it only costs $1.
So you can find us at BC fitness. Or you can call the number (207) 467-5509. Again, that is (207) 467-5509. And you can look at us and VC Fitness dot live. And one more time you can call (207) 467-5509. And we are waiting for your call.